Lately I’ve been doing a lot of introspection…analyzing where I am in life – me as a person, my career, where I am financially, etc. With that, I’ve found a central theme – Fear. I’m not talking about the fear of putting your hand in the oven and being scared of getting burned – that has an obvious cause and effect. I’m talking about the vaguer things in life, the things that may not be so clear cut. Watching the Presidential campaign I sort of had a mini revelation that deep down I always knew – fear can cripple you but it also can motivate you. I looked at those who may live in isolated areas who were so terrified of someone who may be “different” or “anti-American” or “socialist.” This either made them stick to their ways or made them fight and rally to keep the reality that they know because of their huge fear of the unknown and someone who does not seem to be like them. I started thinking about things that I’ve done and have not done in my life and what the reasons were. I realized that fear was often at the core of many of my decisions in life that were subconscious but passively shaping a lot of my existence.

Fear of failure, fear of change, fear of not wanting to deal with the truth or even acknowledging it.

Looking from the outside on those who were so scared of a Black President made me realize how far fear can take you and I knew then that I could not let fear take me. We can’t let anything inhibit us from being who we are, and prevent us from achieving our goals and dreams. Fear should never take away our inner star or put out the light that makes us all special as individuals. We should do nothing less than tackle those fears with full force and determination. Often times fear is just something in our head. It often is irrational. Willingness to tackle our fears can enable us to reap major benefits.

I’ve thought about many things that I’ve feared and then dealt with and realized that it wasn’t as bad or life shattering as I thought it would have been. I was handed one of my worst fears this year – the loss of a parent – and dealing with that I can say I survived it. I’m still here, I’m still living and I’m still thriving. Dealing with that fear there’s now a new part of me, something else that adds on to my persona. And as tough as it is, I’ve gained the strength from living with it daily and a deeper love for and bond with the man that gave me so much – my father. Losing such an important figure in my life has also tempered fear of my own mortality.

So I’ve made a conscious decision to make fear my motivator. Whenever I realize that I’m fearful of something, I question why. I analyze it, see if it’s rational, judge how I can deal with it, and most of all, how I can make it work for a better me. After all, we are here to progress, grow and explore our talents, and not to regress and stifle who we are.



1 Response to “WORDS FROM TIFF- FEAR”

  1. 1 Niki December 9, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    this was touching! thanks for the insight…

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