The name is Authentik. 19 years young, and a beautiful brooklynite.

Beautiful…what exactly does beautiful mean? When looking in the dictionary the definition is:”delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or admiration.”

So maybe, just maybe I should change that saying “beautiful brooklynite”. Maybe I should use something more across the lines of: The name is Authentik. 19 years young, and a lost brooklynite.

Yea that sounds about right. For the past couple of years I’ve been struggling trying to make my life seem as if it has a purpose. Going back and forth with my parents, rather than actually talking to them about what’s going on around me and seeking parental advice, never worked. And I doubt it ever will. They’re like the total opposites of one another. My dad born and partially raised in Puerto Rico has completely different religious and parenting values than my mom. Always causes drama within the house. But with time I began to block the noise of their fussing. This was rather easy, seeing how they were never really home because of their jobs. So with them gone almost all day and night, I had to learn how to be my own Mom and Dad. I had to learn how to take care of myself, and figure out the wrongs from rights.

Life sucked growing up. Still does. I’m still learning how to do for myself. I work two jobs, and go to college. Both jobs I hate, and school is just not where I want to be. I wake up everyday at 7 to work at 9 and sit in front of a computer all day assisting who ever needs help with filing, organizing, or orders. At the other job I serve Empanadas on 42nd. How Spanish of me. School, oh how I hate my Community College. It’s definitely not where I imagined myself to be. I always pictured my life as peachy as possible. Working a job that I’d love waking up to go to, with people who made me smile and loved my work. As well as going to a top of the line Art and Music school here in the city… Yea that’s peachy. I guess that’s where I went wrong. Imagining my life as peachy.

As the days go by it seems as though, everything I taught myself is becoming vague. The only happiness I have feels temporary. Temporary because one minute its there, and then the next it’s gone. Verdery. She’s gone. She was happiness, the definition of beautiful, and a wonderful person. Losing her has made me rethink life, and how im completely lost in this place called Brooklyn, better yet the world. Trying to find myself and accomplish my dreams before my hour glass is up. But see, she never second guessed her life. She sought out to do what she dreamed. Never did she let the dreams run so far ahead of her that she couldn’t catch up. When she was here, physically, I felt I can do anything. I looked up to her even though she was younger and we barely met up to see each other due to our schedules. She was everything I inspired to be.

I want to be the girl that everyone looks up to. The girl that people read about, and say wow…she came a long way. The around the way girl who made a hell of a difference. I want my pictures, shows, throw ups, paintings, murals, beats, and lyrics to represent me and my people in more ways than one. I will be that person to make a change, before my time is done.

Because of her, after this post I will no longer be a lost brooklynite. But the beautiful brooklynite I’ve always wanted to be. I’m tired of living my life as if it’s the worst one. I mean I had a hell of a life, but I made it. And like Verge im going to make it, and make her proud. Like she did me.




  1. 1 Complexx December 5, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Thats some deep sh*t from a 19 yr old… but it seems like shes headed in the write direction. Hopefully she keeps focused and stays “beautiful” instead of reverting back 2 “lost”.

  2. 2 Villainy December 6, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    I guess you can now say you’re the girl people read about.

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