A few words…and rambling.

Unstoppable, unbreakable, inspired, driven, beautiful, strong… THEN

Stressed, anxious, worried, scared, unsure, insecure… NOW

When did this all happen? “What are you complaining about?” “If you’re unhappy, do something about it”. I know the circumstances could be far worse. But I’ve never been put in this position before, see. Its a whole new extreme that is more than that. Almost to the point where I’m losing my perception of me.

Can’t quite make out the picture. What? This is crazy…I just had it a minute ago. Try hard not to let it show. Play the part to the T, but in the end its like everyday is a re-run– same old thing, stuck in the same situation. Feel like I’m being pressured by the leading cast and on the verge of becoming an understudy.

I’ll tell you what I’m complaining about… About being a firm believer in Karma and having to look back and figure out if I ever did anything to make things this way. About feeling like I gotta fulfill the needs of everyone else but me. About knowing I have what it takes, work so hard and haven’t seen results; The ultimate over-achiever, but what’s within reach? And you tell me to do something about it? HA! I can’t even begin to tell you what I’ve been doing about it. You just don’t see it, that’s what makes it worse…
*first generation to graduate from a respected university, but still kinda lookin like something you’re not that interested in and you skip right over it
*got her head in the zone, but still can’t seem to get it right
… How does that work? I’m still trying to figure it out. The signal is a bit distorted. Trying to make adjustments to get the right picture. Oh! Almost there… Damn! I lost it AGAIN.

But I know I’ll get there, all in good time. Don’t miss the Season Premiere of ME coming soon. If you’d like to find out what happens, stay tuned.

To be continued…



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